Snogs, Fluff, and Pygmy Puffs
by CloudSpires1295
Summary: I'm not too sure what to put in the description for this psuedo-fic. It's going to be one shots for the most part, some cannon, some non-cannon, with plenty of pairings. Jily will be predominant for the most part, until later on.


There she was.

Gorgeous, thick auburn hair pulled into a tight ball on top of her head with her wand stuck precariously through it, her school lay abandoned on the bank of the lake, along with her shoes and socks. Her skirt was hiked up a bit, revealing a good amount of her creamy, shapely legs as she waded through the shallows, a small, serene smile on her face.

*sigh*

Lily Evans was simply the most gorgeous witch ever to grace Hogwarts grounds.

"Prongs?" Sirius's voice brought him out of his daydream, and he leaned away from the window to look at his friend, "what is it, Padfoot?" The grey eyed dog animagus grinned goofily and raked a hand through his wavy black tresses.

"Still spying on Evans, I see," he observed, "she's never going to say yes to you, you know she'd rather date the squid. That's probably why she's playing in the shallows, come to think of it. Maybe they're having a date."

"Shut it, Pads," James pushed away from the wall and headed towards the door leading out of the Gryffindor common room, "I'm going down there, and I'm bloody well going to ask her out."

"Oi, and I'll watch from here while her boyfriend the squid kicks the shite out of your randy arse, you barmy git."

*outside*

"Merlin, could you _not_ be anymore gorgeous, Lily," Marlene wailed from her spot under a tree on the bank, "it's no wonder Alice and I have so much trouble with men, you keep dragging them in with your charm. Are you certain you don't have Veela blood?"

"I'm certain, Marly," Lily smiled over at her two friends, "and besides, why are you complaining? If you wanted him to, Sirius would drop whatever trollop he's with to date you."

"That narcissistic git?" Marlene looked scandalized, though the blush in her cheeks betrayed her, "I'd sooner snog Hagrid than entertain his mind with the thought of dating me."

"Oh, you two," Alice rolled her eyes skywards, "Frank and I are fine, you two are the ones with man trouble. I don't understand why you just won't go on one date with James, Lil."

"Because he's a toerag and he's insatiable," the auburn haired witch responded, "I'm with Marlene, I'd rather snog Hagrid."

"Break the poor Squid's heart, why don't you, love," James stepped out from the other side of Marlene and Alice's tree, smiling cheekily, "hello, Evans."

"Sharing the Head's Dorms with you is dreadful enough, Potter, I could do with looking you in the face more than what's necessary," Lily drawled, "and the answer is no."

"Merlin, Evans, at least let me ask first," James walked down to the lake's edge and looked into her stubborn green eyes, "don't make me come in there after you, Head Girl."

"Oh, just try it, Head Boy," Lily shot back, "I'll have you strung up by your toes before you set one foot in this lake, you toerag."

"Alright, then," the Potter shucked off his robe and tossed it onto Marlene, "Marly, Sirius sends his utmost regards. Be a dear and hold that for me, will you?"

"You sodding git, I'll shove it right up your bloody arse," the brunette witch ripped the robe off of her head, piercing James with blazing dark blue eyes, "do I look like a bleeding house elf to you?"

"I'm just teasing, McKinnon, Godric," James turned back to Lily, "what is it with you two and your inability to take a joke?" She scoffed at him as he began to take off his shoes and socks, and then rolled up his pants, stepping into the lake to stand across from the auburn haired witch.

"What happened to stringing me up by my toes, Miss Evans?" the Potter asked quietly, "or were you just pulling my leg?" Lily scowled at him, "bite me, Potter."

"You looked so beautiful from the window in the common room," James told her quietly, "I just had to come down and get a closer look."

"Stop trying to sweet talk me," Lily snapped, though her cheeks were flushed light pink, "it isn't working."

"Why won't you just go out with me, Lily-Flower? Please, just one date, and if you don't enjoy yourself, then I'll leave you alone, Marauder's Honor." Jame spoke in a soft, pleading tone, one that Lily wasn't familiar with. The thought of saying no to him when he spoke to her like that and looked at her in that painfully vulnerable way that only he could made her heart hurt...

"Fine."

James's hazel eyes widened, "Lily, what...?"

"I guess all of your little grand theatrics got to me," Lily spoke in a quiet tone, "we'll go on this one date, and if you screw it up... well, just hope you don't screw it up. What's Marauder's Honor?"

"Nothing," in an instant he was back to his annoying, overconfident, narcissistic self, "what say you to a stroll past the Shrieking Shack on Hogsmeade weekend, and maybe a stop by Madam Puddifoot's for tea and biscuits?"

"What's so special about the Shrieking Shack, Pot- James?"

"Ah... nothing," James smiled cheekily, "wear something nice..." his gaze fell on her hair, "you should wear your hair up like this more often, Evans, it really brings out your eyes. Oi," his eyes widened, "you called me-"

"Your fan club awaits, Potter," Lily gestured towards Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank, "Ali, Frank's coming- _oh_..."

"Did he trip?" Alice stood up from her spot, "the poor thing, he's so dreadfully clumsy sometimes. Frank!" The round-faced witch hurried off to her boyfriend's aid. Marly watched her go, smiling, "I love Ali and Frank dearly, but if their children come out with Alice's face and teeth, and Frank's ears and nose... and his clumsiness..."

"Marls, that's mean," Lily shot a playful scowl at her friend as she stepped out of the shallows and onto the soft grass, "they'll be loved, and that's all that matters."

"Hello, Marls, my love, keeper of my heart, owner of my soul." Sirius swung around the tree trunk to drop onto his knees before the brunette witch, who scoffed and looked away, "forget Hagrid, I'd rather look for Snocky Hacks with Loony Lovegood."

"Crumple Horned Snorkacks, Marly," Lily corrected, "at the very least, get the name right. Xenophilius is just a bit... eccentric, stop calling him Loony."

"First the squid, then Hagrid, and now _Lovegood_?" James took a seat on the bank, letting his feet stay in the water, "are you really that desperate to get away from me, Evans?"

"I said I'd go on this one date with you, Potter, that doesn't make us exclusive," Lily responded, pulling her wand from her bun. "And Lovegood has a girlfriend if I'm not mistaken, something that you don't have."

"Lovegood?" Sirius, who was trying, and failing, to pull Marlene into his arms, "someone actually wants to date that nutter?"

"Pandora Mina, you remember her, don't you?" Marlene pulled away, "wavy blonde locks down to the small of her back, and those wide silvery blue eyes that you said looked like a pair of moonlit lakes? Yes, I believe that she was that lovely sixth year Ravenclaw that you tried, and failed, to get into her knickers, Siri. She and Lovegood have been dating for a few months now."

"Ah, no matter," the dog animagus threw himself bodily over Marlene's lap, "now I'm all yours."

"Lily, are you and the Squid no longer exclusive?" the brunette witch inquired, and Lily smirked, "yes, Marly, we're not exclusive, I can put in a good word for you if you'd like."

"You hear that, nutter?" Marlene struggled against Sirius, trying to slide him off of her lap, "I've got a date with the Squid, now leave off, prat!"

"Oh, bleeding hell, would you two just bloody snog already?" James spat, exasperated, "McKinnon, put that nutter out of his misery, for the love of Merlin!"

"You know what, fine! I'll bloody snog him if it'll get him off my back!" Marlene jerked Sirius upright and pressed her lips to his, much to the bewilderment of Lily and James, and Remus, Peter, Alice, and Frank, who'd just walked up.

"Merlin's Pants, Ja-Potter," Lily shook her head, awed, "I think you've actually gotten those two prats to date."

Sirius broke the snog and stared at Marlene with wide eyes, touching a hand to his slightly swollen lips, "Godric, Marls, that was..." Marlene blushed deep red at the sight of their audience and hid her face in James's robe, "I bloody _hate_ you, Potter!"

"Why are you hiding?" Sirius started tugging on the robe. "That was probably the best bloody snog I've ever had, and I've snogged lots of people!"

"Leave me be, you great bloody prat!" Marlene tossed James's robe off, leapt to her feet, and sprinted across the grass, chestnut brown curls flapping in the wind. Sirius jumped up and ran after her, "Marly, love, don't run away!"

"We're Head Girl and Boy, Evans," James said with a chuckle, "shouldn't we do something about that?"

"Ah, but we weren't even here, Potter," Lily smirked mischievously, "come on, then, isn't there a Transfiguration Exam coming up in a day or two? We should do some studying."

"Are you asking me on a study date, Evans?"

"No, you great toerag," the auburn haired witch rolled her eyes, "I'm extending the invitation to study to _everyone_. Come on, the sitting room in the Head's Dorm is big enough for us all."

"Sounds like a plan, Lily," Remus grinned, "come on, Wormy, you were telling me that you needed some help with your Transfiguration." With that, Lily, James, Remus, Peter, Alice, and Frank began the trek across the grass to get back into the castle, leaving Sirius and Marlene to scramble over the grass by the lake.

_Merlin's Pants_, James came to a point of brilliant realization, _I've got a bloody date with Lily Evans!_

* * *

><p>"Well, hello, Ms. Evans," James leaned around the corner, peering into their shared sitting room, "what brilliant book has you awake at this late hour?"<p>

Lily, who was curled into a ball on one of the soft, cushy sofas, hair pinned messily away from her face, wearing James's spare Quidditch jersey and a pair of loose black comfort pants with a book laid across her knees. She smiled cordially at her Dorm mate and carefully lifted the book so he could see the title: _Magical Water Plants of the __Mediterranean_.

"Nothing special," Lily responded nonchalantly, "I've read it before."

"Of course you have, you're the biggest bookworm I've ever seen. Ever considered transferring to Ravenclaw- _Oi!_ I was joking, barmy woman," James ducked to miss the shoe she threw at him and grabbed it when it landed, examining it, "is this yours, Lil? You've some bloody tiny feet." Lily jumped up and snatched the small flat from him.

"Hey, now," he warned, "why do you keep stealing my Quidditch jersey even when you refuse to go steady with me?"

"Because the fabric is soft and I like the way you make it smell," Lily let the shoe drop to the floor, "what's the point of becoming exclusive this close to the end of term? Is it really that important to you, Jamie?"

"It matters to me, Ms. Evans, because I want to go steady with you," a scowl formed on his handsome features, "and don't call me Jamie."

"Would you rather I call you Jamiekins like your mother does when no one's around but Sirius?" the young Evans inquired with a giggle as her intended flushed deep crimson, and he grumbled, "Sirius told you about that, did he?"

"I'm sworn to secrecy." Lily smiled, pantomiming zipping her lips shut. James smiled evilly, "Oh, Evans?"

"Yes, Potter?"

"I happen to know several spots on your body that, if manipulated just right, will make you melt into a puddle of hysterical giggles," the Potter made his way around the couch, "I'd hate to have to... exploit that knowledge to get you to tell me what I already know."

"If you already know then why do you need to exploit them?" Lily replied, placing her book on the low table. James's grin widened, "because when you laugh too hard, you snort like a little piglet, and it's rather adorable."

"I do not," Lily responded, "I _squeal_ like a piglet. I'm much too dignified to snort." She straightened her shoulders with a rather posh sniff, "you know that."

James lunged at her and pinned her smaller form beneath him on the couch and, using one hand to hold her hands over her head, he began attacking her abdomen, coercing shrill giggles and cries from her shell pink lips. Sure enough and true to James's words, when the tickling became much too intense, the Head Girl gave an ellipses of snorts and squeals. Then and only then, when her face was as red as her hair and she could barely stop snorting, did James release her, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead as he did so.

"Oh, Godric, James," Lily rasped, wrapping her arms around his neck, "that was..." she hit him firmly in the chest, "I thought I was going to blooming suffocate, you great toerag of a prat!"

"_Ack_! Lily!" James coughed slightly from the pain, and then hugged her to his body and rolled over so he was lying on the couch and Lily was lying on her stomach on top of him. The Head Girl settled into her new position languidly, grabbed her book, and settled in to finish her reading.

"Jamie?"

"*sigh* Yes, Lily-Flower?"

"We can go steady."

"_Really?_"

"Don't make me repeat it, Mr. Potter." James pressed a kiss to the side of Lily's face and wrapped his arms around her slim body. She all but melted against him, though she did so with grace, keeping her focus on her herbology book.

* * *

><p><strong>I was going to do a couple more of these, but I think these two are enough for now. Hope you enjoyed the fluff!<strong>

**~_CloudSpires1295_~**


End file.
